Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
