I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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