I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just pee around me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
