Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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