You're my little dorito
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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