every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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