Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
