So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So vagazzling was a success
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
