You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
