what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
