I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
