some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
MIDGETS
????
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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