fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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