that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
