Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
