He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
