She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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