That's intense
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
