is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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