I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
