brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
