she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
