just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
