i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
