dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
