I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
