one word: firstdatebathroomanal
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
