We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
