Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
