I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
