I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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