Do you still have your period?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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