whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
