Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
