Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
