just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
