Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
