Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
