who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
