if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
