Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
