You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
His hands were made for my vagina.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
