so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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