your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
