i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
