just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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