woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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