im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
