we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
