I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
